Kushi is going away...Kats is so very lazy...CHulbuli is observing it all

Well again for a few days we were lost, both myself and Kats.
 No, we were not on an all expense trip to Egypt unravelling the secrets of king Tutankhamen or on an all expense trip to Disney world or to the wonderful wizarding world of harry potter (which we would appreciate if any of you could manage one for us :P ), we were just lazing around and for a change, simply watching  the rain fall, wind low, clouds thunder and mangoes fall off the tree. 

 

In the past three years or so Kats used to just manage to sleep for 6 hours a day or so, but for the past few she has been sleeping for more 12 hours a day. What does she do the rest 12 hours you may ask and you'll be surely amused and amazed on ‘uncovering’ the secret of the order in which she does things the entire day. Well she reads, writes, sings (pathetically in the bathroom, Indian Idol dreams are still awake maybe somewhere.. ref: And…Chulbuli is back….Kats decides…. ),cooks food, watches FIFA matches and post 5:30 pm roams around the entire ‘here’. I'm glad that an unplanned day isn't that hard for her any more.

 

Some more results are awaited, but now she has reached such a level of saturation that she is ready to take almost anything.

 

Khushi is going away. She is moving to ‘Redivivus urbs’, a very nice city. One big city with lots of people, lots to places to go to, many things to learn, most importantly a gazillion times better than 'here'.But as expected both Kats and Khushi are upset.But nothing can be done.This day was to come, its just that it feels that its a little too soon. Recently Khushi ‘threw' a party for all her friends (I don't know why people use the word 'threw', but they do,I find it odd, don't you?).All her friends had come.It wasn't exactly like the way myself or Kats expected it to be.We thought that it would be emotional and some, if not all would break down,none except for one did breakdown.Though Kats often says that "Sorrow and grief can not always be expressed through tears." I feel that when you really feel for someone,you can see it.I couldn't see much on many of the faces.Isn't it sad that everything is so hollow nowadays ? 

Kats,Kats oh Kats,I must write an ode on her laziness someday.She so the queen of this empire (the empire of laziness) as well.It's been ages since she cleaned her table or every cleaned the cupboard  containing her books.Maybe lazy isn't the word to describe her now,as she says she is 'relaxing'.But relaxing doesn't mean you sit on a pile of dirt does it? 

I know I've complained a lot about  Kats already.And I may seem like an ever complaining pest. So I think I must share some of my other observations about Kats and the people around her.

Kats has suddenly become a topic of interest for all her neighbours and the people around her.Everyone wants to know how much she scored in various exams,where does she intend to study,what does she intend to study,etc. Those people who never even acknowledged her existence  have suddenly got interested in her 'future'.I find it amusing.The poor girl has to answer every odd question a passer-by on the street asks her.She may choose not to answer but sadly she does mind her manners.

Amidst all of this no one has for once though of what poor Kats is going through.I know Kats hasn't done somethings in the way she was supposed to,but the things which she has done as one is supposed to, haven't given her what she wants.

I can see the disappointment in her eyes,the loss of the will to do her best.She is sad,not because she has to answer everyone,but because she couldn't do what maybe she could have.

Now for a change I feel she shouldn't answer any more questions.
She does feel like yelling on the faces of the passers by to "mind their own business".But again,the word  'manners' comes in the way.

Maybe sometime I should take over and say so,what do you think? 

Whatever maybe your answer Kats isn't that happy now,I'm trying my best to cheer her,lets see whether I succeed.  

Kats goes out...all Thanks to Sakhi...Chubuli is happy

Another day,the sun rises,bird fly out of their nest in search for food chirping,the hen cookadokoos.
But this day is a little different from the others,for a change our darling Kats has no plan or schedule for the day.
No topics to revise,no problems in physics or maths to solve or reaction mechanism  to revise.
After months years comes a day in her ever-so-busy-busy life where she has no plan in place.Where she doesn't know what to do next.

Isn't it strange? When I was in complete control of her(i.e. when she was a child) everyday was like this,like a unknown parcel.Nothing was planned,everything just happened and despite that every single day was unique.

Today she felt so totally lost.After months years of 'focus' here come a time where you have to do nothing.It's like working in the army for years at the border,then suddenly being dropped off on to some exotic island and being told to 'enjoy'.It's hard. 

It's more like you go to school everyday,suddenly one fine day the horrible horrible monster called cold takes over you and you can't go to school.

Sometimes you also feel like that during the beginning of vacation. 

Poor Kats.This is like one long summer vacation. 

For a change Kats calls up Sakhi her 'kwel' friend out for a walk in the evening and Sakhi agrees.
The entire day just simply goes by.Kats makes an attempt to pick her books up:but no.... they seem so much heavier  than before.So drops the plan to study. 

She picks up her all time favourate writer Agatha Cristie's book,Passenger to Frankfurt  .

She  has many books of Agatha Cristie.But I fail to understand how blood shed,disputes,dead bodies,death, and so many more dark things interest her.Because all Agatha Cristie's books have all the above mentioned dark things. I think she should read something like 'The wizard of Oz'.
Though it gets a little scary after the witch comes into the picture in the book,I like it because it has a happy ending. 

I've heard Kats say this a lot,"Real life stories have no happy endings".But is it true? I don't think so.Maybe she just doesn't know what happy means. 

The day progressed.She progressed through the pages of that book.

She fell asleep in the afternoon.
Got up to see that Sakhi has come to her place with a 'gang' of girls.Kats knows all of them well,very well.But neither I nor Kats get along well with them.I don't know why!Both myself anf Kats make such huge efforts to build a bridge to their hearts,but it just doesn't stand the test of time.I simply took over Kats the moment I saw them,made her say that she'll come out in an hour.

Kats ran in.Choose an outfit.Cleansed herself. And viola she is ready. 
But after an hour when Sakhi comes with them it starts to rain rather it was drizzling. Plan almost got canceled.Then Sakhi promises that she'll take her to the market place after it stops.
And guess what? unlike the other friends of Kats Skahi is really "kwel".She has a scooty,a real one.

It stopped drizzling and off they went on Skahi's scooty. I'd rather call it her dragon.I like dragons,and would love to pet one, as it would serve multiple purposes.
The cool wind was gushing past their ears,everything around felt like as if it were falling behind.
The entire road was empty,there was fresh breeze of freedom,it smelled different,felt different.Kats forgot everything, all she did was flap her hands like birds would do to fly. 

 

And then suddenly it stared to rain again. 

   

Kats had a shopping bag in her hand then.She covered Sakhi's head and tried to cover her head with it as well.But purposely choose not to cover her head much as getting wet in rain was fun in a different way. It was after ages that Kats got wet in the rain.

The entire atmosphere smelt different.She all her tension,anxiety,stress was washed away by the rain.And all that was left was the same old Kats; happy,cheerful and hopeful of brighter day,all thanks to Sakhi.

And…Chulbuli is back….Kats decides….

First of all apologies for not being able to stay in touch with you all, due Kats and her ever so busy life I was lost. 

So much has happened that the account of all the incidents would take the next week totally. Nothing very adventurous has happened (if you consider cycling around the locality as adventurous then, there was some adventure.)

As the results started pouring in the Kat's skin colour changed as follows: 

 

 

And after the result this is what used to happen :

 

Kats isn’t exactly unpredictable; it’s just her mood that is unpredictable. If you know her mood you know she’ll do next.

Amidst all these exams, results and more exams suddenly Kats has woken up.
Woken up from deep slumber. And no there was fairy tale like reason for the same.

It’s just that, it has happened. 

 

When I was in complete control of her she wanted to be 14 different things.

(I don’t even remember all the 14 ironically.)But as she grew older there were only a few options that were left with her.

 

When all she was me, that is she was reaaally young she wanted to be a dancer.
She loved dancing, wasn’t very good at it but loved and tried to dance away with lots of joy. But as she grew older and older she learnt that dancing isn’t job. I don’t know why elders say so….? I don’t know why then do they allow us (children) to learn all these?
I wonder what makes something a job and what doesn’t!

Then some where in class 4 or before she wanted to be a doctor, the old nanny who took care of her wanted her to become one. Her parents wanted the same too.

But then she learnt that she had to sit in a dark place with dead bodies. OMG!
And that very day she decided not to become a doctor!

Then what next you may ask? 
I warn you Kats is one heck of a girl! Very indecisive….

Then what! Then came the era of singing reality shows. And yes! SHE WANTED TO BECOME A SINGER! She still has a penchant for singing.

I can challenge you that if a person can listen to her sing ‘Yeh Ishq hai’ from Jab We Met and not leave by the end of the 2^nd line, that person is deaf. Her ‘sur’ is like Kashmir and the original ‘sur’ of the song Kanyakumari!

Then what, when she came to class 9, ’the most interesting year in her life’ as she says (and even I agree!) she had four proper options, architect/interior designer, lawyer, researcher and politician .

 

Architecture was dropped midway in class 9 itself as she learn that one need to draw really well for that. And I can assure you that even the egg she draws isn’t a perfect oval! The human figures he draws look like Lord Voldemort’s distorted form. And if age were estimated by the way one fills colours she’s be aged 2 or maybe less! 

 

Lawyer was dropped as well. Because right in front of Kats’s grandfather’s house was lawyer and he used to get all kinds of 'dangerous guests' at odd times. There used to stand a white omni just like ones used in movies to kidnap right in front of his house. It was one creepy house! 

Politician was again labeled as ‘not a job’.

 

Yes, from then to this date all that has stood the test of time in her heart is research.

She likes it. She enjoys it and she doesn't need a smile to do it, but while doing it a smile sprouts on her face.  

She says she wants to study chemistry.

Chemistry is fun! So many colours, so many odours (ranging from rotten egg to rotten fish to scent of flowers), so much of activity and so much of drama, even I like it!

 

So finally for now research in chemistry has been frozen. Let’s see what happens next.

Whether she sticks to it or whether she finds something else.

At the end of the day she is the great Kats, queen of the land of the lost!

 

Expectations reduce joy, Chulbuli thinks so…

“Expectations reduce joy” these words aren’t mine but of the great Sri Sri Ravishankar. Quite true I must say. Though initially it is quite difficult for a child like myself to understand, but surely with experience it begins seep in. 

Kats was exposed to these words when I was in complete control of her (i.e. when she was a child) and as expected I wanted to question the meaning of the same. But examples were given soon after she first heard it. One of the examples was that when you are expecting your father back from a long trip  a gift is an obvious expectation for most children (unlike myself) but say this time father brings back nothing, most children are angry, irritated and hence forget to soak in the joy of their father coming back.

Kats has undergone the same ‘reduction of joy’ quite a few times. There have been moments where she had expectations from friends or family members to behave in a certain manner and the exact opposite taking place, hence reducing the joy of the moment.
 

But there have also been moments where she has expected nothing and enjoyed the little she got. For example in her 10^th standard board examination Kats got an aggregate of 87% , since she didn't have any expectation at all and was ready to take anything that comes her way hence she was happy. But there were cases, many cases, of her friends who were dissatisfied even after topping the school and the region.

 

The question is whether they were dissatisfied with their own perseverance and effort or by the outcome. The ones dissatisfied by the outcome as expected simply kept sulking where as the ones dissatisfied by their efforts critically analysed their own mistakes and developed a better POA (Plan Of Action) for the future.

The ones dissatisfied by the outcome couldn’t even enjoy the fruits of their own labour, where as the ones dissatisfied by their own persevence moved on with a smile, lots of happiness and a hope to better.

 

It is left to the individual to choose between being happy under any circumstance (for which many use the word content, which I do not agree wholly to) or to be upset, sad and sulky. If one wants to be upset and drowned in the pits of depression none can stop that person, not even God. For one can always find excuses to be so.

This reminds of these lines:
I was crying for a pair of shoes when I saw a boy without legs.

Till one sees people with more reasons to be sad than oneself and yet choosing to be happy one doesn’t realise the finite probability of one being happy irrespective of the condition.

Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but it won’t reveal itself always.
How ever thin it maybe (in Fermi meters {10 ^-15} of thickness say), it is left to you to find it. Though there are some ever so pessimistic people who always manage to search for the dark side to every given situation. My sincere suggestion to you is to not do so.

The best is to keep it blank. Approach every situation as a visit to your neighbourhood ice cream parlour (or Shop, if you don’t have a parlour in your neighbourhood), where you are ready to taste any other flavour if the flavour of your choice isn’t available. Though you may be forced to accept some flavour you’ve never tasted and it may initially annoy you. But the moment the first spoon (or lick if it’s a cone ice cream) of ice cream melts in your mouth, the joy of the ice cream precides over all other emotions.

 

God comes in various forms, and Chulbuli believes so….

The definition of God as in the dictionaries is too complicated; I've never been able to understand them. But I do have my own definition of God; God is like a universal mother, loves one and all, takes care of them, chooses the best for them(at least I think so) and punishes them when required. Though there are many religions across the world and Kats follows a specific one (like all her ancestors have) like many people she does respect all religions. But I do fail to understand which one is correct and which isn't?

 

 Once when I was in complete control of Kats (i.e. when she was a kid) I made her ask the same question, and her mummy said “It's all the same, but is very different. It's just like looking at an object; it looks different through different media, with different lighting and from a different perspective. That is all I can tell you now dear.” Again a little complicated, but I do get the point Kats’s Mother wants to convey.

 

God has come in various forms in Kats’s life. Both myself and Kats strongly believe so.

There have been innumerable instances where Kats was nearly saved from a disaster, or was guided to a better life all because of these visits by God. Like for example the other day our highly irresponsible Kats forgot her pencil box, and watch before an exam. Then Kats’s parents had to run to a store buy a pen, and a watch for the exam. The irony is when in the shop Kats’s mother asked her whether she would buy a pencil she refused as the admit card fort the exam said pen or pencil, whereas the center authorities had written in pen above the seating arrangement that one HB pencil must be used. Now what to do! Half and hour to the exam, no shop nearby, what a mess…! It was just then God appeared rather re-appeared in the form of Shagufta, another girl who was an examinee as well. She had an extra pencil and a rubber, and she literally saved, her life, her career. Shagufta was clad in a black burqa, the only burqa clad girl in the entire lot of girls. Though Kats was unknown to her, was from a different faith and didn’t even belong to the same city, she came forward to help her. May God bless her!

 

I have a theory for this repeated appearance of God in various forms. There is God within all of us, a fraction of God at least. Whenever someone in our surrounding is need of help of any kind the God within awakens. It’s just like as if an alarm goes off. But like all alarms this one also has to be paid heed to and used often else it'll stop working. Just like Kats’s poor alarm clock it rings everyday in morning at 5:00 am she gets up shuts it off and again falls asleep. If it had a mouth it would be wailing all day like a banshee. And would wail louder in the morning instead of going krrring! 

 

Coming back to my theory, since there is God within one and all there is a finite probability that everyone on earth can do a good dead, no matter how bad a criminal or a terrorist a person is. It is just that in criminals and terrorists the God within is in deep slumber because they never paid heed to the alarm or maybe never acted upon the alarm. 

 

There is God within in us all. All when need to do is to “Wake up God!”

Chulbuli watches rain fall

In some distant corner of earth called here Kats (the girl within whom I reside) watches rain fall right out of the window drowning in the depths of her thought. Poor girl she has so much to think, much more to do and does a lot and yet feels that has done nothing.

Kats is upset. Name the one thing she is happy about actually.

I wonder why the beauty of the wonderful flowers blossoming in the meadow, the mangoes growing on the mango tree, the birds chirping never take her off her busy schedule.
For the past three years all she has done is put on weight, increased a little knowledge , read  lots of books, studied many more and most of all not gone out of the four walls of her room and played some game, any game.

Ah well she'll have the same old explanation ready, “It's class 10, 11, 12, most important and formative years of my life, how can it take it lightly?” Well who ever asked her to take it lightly; I just wanted her to take it a little brightly with a smile not a plastic one but the genuine one. But since she had to exercise all the 32 muscles on her face, she has hardly managed to smile the last three years.

Who would I blame? Everyone…

What is all the rush about? I mean I know there are so many people and everyone wants the best, but what does best actually mean? For the cricketing community the mongoose bat is the best bat ever, but in my opinion it's the bat Kats’s dad bought her when she was 3 years old.

All I have seen Kats do the last three years is run.
Well had she ran physically she wouldn't have put on as much weight, but she did run.
Run to school, run back from school, run to tutors, run around with the books. God!
All running and not stopping makes Kats what she is.

She has learnt a lot undoubtedly but something or the other always goes wrong like as if problems were her best friends.

The rain has stopped.

But have you ever wondered why does it rain?
In my opinion when the clouds cry it rains. But what are the tears for I don't know.
Whether they are happy or sad or both or having allergy God only knows.

The rain reminds me of all the wet moments of Kushi and Kats.
They have purposely got drenched in rain innumerable times and had great fun.

But this rain maybe the last rain they witness together. Kushi’s family is moving to a better place. And Kats also has to go to collage; hence they knew they had to part ways someday. But how come that day has come so soon!

Oh how I wish I could shrink Kushi for Kats sake and keep her in Kushi’s pocket for eternity. But well there are two major problems, One the machine to shrink people still hasn't come out the TV (yes the Honey I shrunk the kids one..!) and two Kats want the best for Kushi.

Again I fail to understand this best business. Is always ‘the best’ what we have or what we don’t have ?

Whatever it maybe I feel bad for both of them as they are BFFs. Though that won’t change much, but who would take Kats out for walks, puchka sessions. Had it not been for Kushi Kats would have been locked up inside that room of her forever.

Oh I am so anxious what would happen to them when Khushi moves out of town…?

Chulbuli Says HI!

Hello Blogville! 

Myself Chulbuli ,existent in every individual yet unknown ,unfelt or uncared for by them.Theres some silly girl in some corner of the world who has finally hurled a lot of will power and courage to bring me into lime light. 

Everyone has a different Chulbuli or Chulbula or whatever you may want to call it within them.As time catches up on them, the Chulbuli within them is tied and throw away in a corner.Though  I myself have felt that I have misbehaved quite a few  times and gotten the better of the girl I am within,I still appreciate her for letting me be free even now. 

I am non-existent physically,but alive and kicking in spirit.

Since I shall share the world i see from now with all of you (readers) across the universe,I must introduce you to the main characters of this show called 'life' whose narration is my duty. 

Kats or Katyayini : the girl within whom I exist

Mummy and Daddy : Kats parents. 

Kushi : Kat's BFF (Best Friend Forever)

Ganga : A Close friend of Kat

Baawra : Kat's friend,collaborator, literal twin! 

Popat : Again,another friend of Kat,more like a little brother to her.

As the story proceeds many more characters shall be encountered,but these are the ones that will be consistently found.I hope this blog helps you find the child in you and also brightens your day with a smile.