An emotional roller coaster ride…..Chulbuli already feels sick

Oh my God! Those are the words that come to my mind, when I think  about the last few days. I don’t even know how many days. Kats is oscillating between tears, and exhilaration (I learnt this word from Kats it means unusually happy) at an alarming rate.

 

As I had told you the last time Kats was waiting for some results. The result of the 5 year integrated MSc programme with the University of Bacca urbs was due on 22^nd of June. But there was nothing on 22^nd, she waited till 25^th evening. And on 25^th evening it said “You haven’t qualified for the interview”. Those words were written at the centre of the page in big bold letters in pink. Kats never liked pink and at moment she started to hate it even more than ever. A stream of tears started to flow right out of her eyes, uncontrolled. Kats was upset. Though I never leave an opportunity to complain about her, that day even I felt bad. It was her dream to study chemistry, now she had to study something else that she wasn’t very much interested in. It’s not that the ‘Plan B’ as (she calls it) is bad, it’s just that she likes chemistry more than it. She spent the entire night sleeplessly, staring right at the ceiling trying hard to find a silver lining in this dark cloud. It takes time for anyone to accept the fact that what you want isn’t what you get. But maybe as I have always felt, Kats doesn’t exactly know what she wants, or maybe she does but isn’t sure whether this is the time to seek it. The next day wasn’t very difficult for her as she went out with her daddy to the bank. And then on the way back home suddenly she suddenly decided to visit her school.

 

School was definitely a refreshing change. It was the positive environment she needed to be in for a while. For the first time in many days she was greeted with a warm hello and not with a volley of questions like “what is your rank in X entrance exam?” For a change people wanted to know when she is going to college and not which one. A refreshing change indeed it was. The ‘children’ (as Kats calls them) were happy to see their ‘Didi’ (yeah that’s what they call her at school Kats Didi) one last time and wanted to know when ‘Didi’ would come back to visit them, nothing else. That was the best thing by far. And thankfully it did bring the smile back on her face. I’ve never told her but I hope some one does tell her that she looks the best with a smile. She can’t smile without flashing her teeth (that’s an infectious disease so better beware), she way too proud about her toothpaste and tooth brush and it seems that she intends to become the ‘brand ambassador’ (that’s the person who is in every AD of the product) of both the toothbrush and the toothpaste company someday.

 

Then came the evening of the tissue company (I expected it to be so at least), Khushi and Kats met for the last time. It was past 9:30pm.They met on the lonely streets spoke like they would meet again the very next day. But they both knew that wasn’t true. It was that very evening she came to know that she was (finally) called for the interview at University of Bacca urbs. That day was very odd for her. It was like chocolate and bitter gourd (karela in hindi) ice cream. The bitter gourd (karela in hindi) part was that Khushi was going away and the chocolate part was the interview call.

 

It was because of this interview call that I wasn’t blogging. Though Kats is the one preparing, I thought I should be with her cheering her up. She needs to be cheered a lot. I truly mean that, you’d need a person dressed as Barney the dino singing to her to keep her smiling. Don’t you even start thinking that I wore the Barney outfit! You don’t get ones of my size, also its way too suffocating for me. Though I would surely love some to come dressed as Barney for Kats birthday, because both myself and Kats are huge fans of Barney, but me wearing the Barney outfit is ruled out.

 

The interview day finally came. Kats’s interview was scheduled towards the end. She was the second last candidate to be interviewed. She was nervous, very nervous. Not because it was her first interview but because she wanted to get through it badly. She was like the little girl jumping as high as possible to get the candy out of the adult’s hand. But our girl couldn’t get the candy.

 

She was told that she didn’t have the “Ability to think”. Which was quite surprising for everyone who knew her. She may not able to do many things like maintaining things neatly etc but she surely can think. Maybe think has a different meaning for those who interviewed her and those of us who know her. Maybe…..

 

But at the end of it Kats was again left disappointed, not by others but by herself that maybe she tried a little too hard. Maybe she mustn’t think anymore. It’s all this thinking that’s giving her so much of pain. , I think (I know even I Shouldn’t think when I say she mustn’t for one last time, let me…) she should be like the way she was when I was in control of her (i.e. as a child) always happy, cheerful and untouched and unaffected by the monsters of tension.