“Expectations reduce joy” these words aren’t mine but of the great Sri Sri Ravishankar. Quite true I must say. Though initially it is quite difficult for a child like myself to understand, but surely with experience it begins seep in.
Kats was exposed to these words when I was in complete control of her (i.e. when she was a child) and as expected I wanted to question the meaning of the same. But examples were given soon after she first heard it. One of the examples was that when you are expecting your father back from a long trip a gift is an obvious expectation for most children (unlike myself) but say this time father brings back nothing, most children are angry, irritated and hence forget to soak in the joy of their father coming back.
Kats has undergone the same ‘reduction of joy’ quite a few times. There have been moments where she had expectations from friends or family members to behave in a certain manner and the exact opposite taking place, hence reducing the joy of the moment.
But there have also been moments where she has expected nothing and enjoyed the little she got. For example in her 10th standard board examination Kats got an aggregate of 87% , since she didn't have any expectation at all and was ready to take anything that comes her way hence she was happy. But there were cases, many cases, of her friends who were dissatisfied even after topping the school and the region.
The question is whether they were dissatisfied with their own perseverance and effort or by the outcome. The ones dissatisfied by the outcome as expected simply kept sulking where as the ones dissatisfied by their efforts critically analysed their own mistakes and developed a better POA (Plan Of Action) for the future.
The ones dissatisfied by the outcome couldn’t even enjoy the fruits of their own labour, where as the ones dissatisfied by their own persevence moved on with a smile, lots of happiness and a hope to better.
It is left to the individual to choose between being happy under any circumstance (for which many use the word content, which I do not agree wholly to) or to be upset, sad and sulky. If one wants to be upset and drowned in the pits of depression none can stop that person, not even God. For one can always find excuses to be so.
This reminds of these lines:
I was crying for a pair of shoes when I saw a boy without legs.
Till one sees people with more reasons to be sad than oneself and yet choosing to be happy one doesn’t realise the finite probability of one being happy irrespective of the condition.
Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but it won’t reveal itself always.
How ever thin it maybe (in Fermi meters {10 -15} of thickness say), it is left to you to find it. Though there are some ever so pessimistic people who always manage to search for the dark side to every given situation. My sincere suggestion to you is to not do so.
The best is to keep it blank. Approach every situation as a visit to your neighbourhood ice cream parlour (or Shop, if you don’t have a parlour in your neighbourhood), where you are ready to taste any other flavour if the flavour of your choice isn’t available. Though you may be forced to accept some flavour you’ve never tasted and it may initially annoy you. But the moment the first spoon (or lick if it’s a cone ice cream) of ice cream melts in your mouth, the joy of the ice cream precides over all other emotions.
very practical...
ReplyDelete@Ram Thanks for reading my blog...spread the word
ReplyDeletegood idea...
ReplyDeleteChulbuli, chulbuli... u r soo sweet... its cool how you could relate expectations to the choice of flavour of ice creams.. i must say, your thoughts are most sensible... and even being the little child you are, you understand the very ways of the world around you.
ReplyDelete@Ishita thanks a ton for the read.If yo like it..do subscribe or follow....
ReplyDelete@Kiran Thanks again...